I took a much needed nap today, only waking up because I drank so much water earlier at Pilates and at breakfast with Sean that I had to "go." I have had a difficult week. Teaching for a charter school brings many challenges, one of which is very involved parents. I have spent the last two weekends defending my teaching practices, classroom management style, and late work policies, on top of the pile of regular planning, reading, and grading I need to do before Monday morning. I received emails accusing me of one faulty practice or another, where I'm never recognized for the good I try to achieve every day, let alone ever given the benefit of the doubt. I'm a sensitive person, and I take my career choice very seriously, so emails like this feel personal, and I take them deeply to heart. I have felt frustrated to the point of giving up many times over the last two years, but I know I've come too far to do that. The learning curve of teaching has been a very steep one for me, and any time I have ever felt I'm finally getting the hang of it, and that I might finally be cresting the hill, the route changes and the grade increases becoming steeper yet again. Amidst this mindset today, I had this thought come to me: "this is not the toughest thing I've ever been through; it's just the newest tough thing. It's hard because it's new, and I've never done it before, but soon, it will be old, and I will have learned the things I need to about how to work through this and how to gain a sort of mastery over it just in time for the next new tough thing. Then I'll start the process over again with something else. But I'll have gained something valuable as a result." There was more to my thought that I can't seem to remember, but the important thing is that I think I made a breakthrough, at least where my perspective is concerned. Instead of dreading the next tough thing, I briefly saw it as an amazing opportunity for growth and mastery. I saw the potential in my mistakes, and I visualized myself becoming the kind of teacher, the kind of person, I'd like to become. Not some cynical hardened person, but rather a wise, kind, soft-centered one. One who uses the past to create a brighter future and who shares her wisdom openly with any one who might be going through their own new tough thing.